Two Characters in Search of a Storyline
by Spamela
Summary: I’ve been away from Pine Valley for over a year. I stopped watching right after the Satin Slayer was unmasked. When I left them, Zendall was front and center and in the midst of a murder mystery. When I returned, I found them part of a sextet. WTF?
1. Chapter 1

_I've been away from Pine Valley for over a year. (I stopped watching right after the Satin Slayer was unmasked.) When I left them, Zendall was front and center and in the midst of a murder mystery. When I returned, I found them part of a sextet. (WTF?) There's another murder mystery, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with Zendall. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ZEN?? What follows is my pathetic attempt to understand and to cope. This may go on for several chapters – I think of it as my AMC Therapy._

Chapter One – The Way Things Stand

Zendall glared at each other across a gulf of hurt feelings and misunderstandings.

"What happened to us, Kendall?" Zach really wanted to know.

"Nothing!" she insisted. "Nothing! It's just that what Ryan is going through is so HUGE, I need to be there for him! We both do! You can understand that, Zach. You're the one who wanted us to be one big happy family!"

No, he didn't, Zach was certain. When did he ever say that? Why would she ever think that?

"I want us to be one big happy family, Kendall. You, me and the boys."

Kendall nodded. She could understand that. Spike and Ian meant everything to her. They were her sons. Nothing could ever get in the way of the bond that existed between them. And yet…

"I can't turn my back on Ryan. What he's going through is so --"

"HUGE. Yes, I know, Kendall."

But Kendall thought that Zach didn't sound at all as if he knew.

"He's married to a whack-job," she therefore elaborated.

Zach nodded. "No question about that. Annie is a fruit-loop."

"She's insanely jealous of Greenlee of all people," Kendall went on, picking up speed.

"Kendall, she's having a baby," Zach reminded her. "You know how that is. Her hormones are probably --"

"Who knows how she got pregnant?" Kendall shot back before he could finish imagining what Annie's hormones were doing to her.

"The usual way?" Zach guessed.

"You mean she stole some of Ryan's sample from Dr. Madden's Clinic?" Kendall asked, since stealing from a sperm bank was the way many if not most children had been conceived in Pine Valley in the last few years. "Good guess, but I don't think so. First of all, there is no Dr. Madden's Clinic anymore. Second of all, there is no Dr. Madden anymore. Did anybody ever find out who buried him alive?"

"I doubt that it was Annie," Zach doubted.

"Only because it was before her time. Do you doubt that she is fully capable of doing that, Zach? Do you?"

"Kendall, what have you got against Annie? Other than that she's married to Ryan, I mean."

Kendall shrugged. That was easy. That was obvious. There were so many reasons. She struggled to find one.

"She probably killed her brother."

Zach raised an eyebrow. There was that, he couldn't help but acknowledge. But there was something in his wife's behavior that didn't add up, even given the real possibility of Annie's fratricide.

"Your sister killed my brother, and I don't hold that against her," he began to reason for them both.

"Your brother was a monster," Kendall reminded him.

"As was Richie," Zach reminded Kendall.

Kendall frowned, unable to find a pithy come-back.

"Annie isn't right for Ryan," she managed after some intense thought. "Greenlee is his soul-mate."

"Greenlee just married Aidan," Zach pointed out.

"What's that got to do with anything?" Kendall demanded. "People marry and unmarry people all the time. I was married to Dimitri Marick's son, Anton. That didn't mean we were soul-mates. Actually, in those days, I'm pretty sure I didn't have a soul."

That got Zach's attention. "You were married before?"

"Well not me exactly," she made haste to explain. "It was years and years ago. Another me. An earlier version of me. You know what I mean."

"So it doesn't count? Zach checked.

She shook her gorgeous head vigorously. "Not any more than it counts that I made love to Aidan a few months ago when everybody thought you were dead."

It was Zach's turn to frown. "We don't even mention that lately, do we? It's like it never happened."

She smiled at him. "Exactly. It's like it never happened. The important thing is that Ryan is dying inside because he can't be with his soul-mate."

"Which would be Greenlee?"

"Who else?"

Zach was nothing if not perplexed. It seemed to him that their entire lives had been taken over by people who bored him, who were living out storylines that bored him.

"Why are we so completely caught up in these characters' lives, Kendall?" he exploded. "Why should we care if Ryan and Greenlee are together or if Annie tricked Ryan into conceiving their child or whether or not she murdered her brother? Why shouldn't I care that you got schtupped by Aidan Devane when you were supposed to be mourning my death?"

Kendall was regarding Zach with the widest of wide eyes. Why was he asking all of these stupid questions? Why was he so upset?

"Somebody definitely got up on the wrong side of bed this morning!" she concluded.

At which point Zach chose another tact.

"Kendall, look around. Where are we?"

Kendall didn't need to look around.

"Zach, we're on your corporate jet," she said softly, beginning to be concerned. "Where do you think we are?"

"But why, Kendall?" Zach cried out. "Why are we here? Why aren't we home?"

"We can go home, Darling, if you want to," she said soothingly, embracing him, hoping against hope that he wasn't cracking up. "We're only here because we flew to Las Vegas for some reason. And we saw Greenlee and Aidan's wedding. And Annie's freak-out when Greenlee and Ryan got locked in the bathroom together after Greenlee accidentally dropped the earring she used in place of a wedding ring down the toilet. Lucky thing she didn't flush! Don't you remember any of that, Zach?"

He remembered all of that too, too well.

"Why aren't we at home with our boys, Kendall?"

Kendall blinked. "It's because Ryan is going through something HUGE, Zach. He's married to that whack-job Annie, but now that he's gotten his memory back, he knows he belongs with Greenlee."

"Kendall, why don't we have a home anymore? Why don't we have our family? Why don't we have a real mystery to solve? Why don't we have an adventure? Why don't we interact with anybody beside Greenlee and Aidan and Annie and Ryan? When was the last time you had a scene with Erica? Where the hell is Josh? Why don't you and I banter like we used to? Kendall, we used to have Fans! They used to write about us on Message Boards! We were the heroes of Fan Fictions! Kendall, why don't we have a freakin' storyline?"

At this point he had begun to shake her.

"Zach, st-st-stop!" she begged him. "You're sc-sc-scaring me!"

Zach stopped, appalled that he had applied physical force to the one being he treasured above all else in the world.

"Kendall, forgive me! I must be losing my mind!"

Sensing his angst, she threw herself into his arms and kissed him like she used to kiss him when they were a Destiny Couple with a freakin' storyline.

"I wish I knew why you're so upset," she told him after they came up for air. "I don't have the slightest idea!"

"I know," he knew.

_Truth to tell, I don't have the slightest idea where I'm going with this. But then neither does AMC. Will Zen recapture the Zen-Magic or remain bit players in the Rylee/Ryannie/Graiden snoozefest? Maybe we'll find out together!_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two – Confusion at Confusion

_Recap – Zendall is at a crossroads. No longer having a major Storyline of their own, they have been reduced to being supporting players in the Rylee/Ryannie/Graidan Mess. Zach appears to mind their change in status more than Kendall, who is stubbornly oblivious to just about everything._

--

Kendall spent fifteen minutes at Fusion, shuffling through manila folders that might have meant something to somebody only not to her. Heading a major cosmetics company was nothing if not boring, she thought. No wonder Erica had given up Enchantment. She stared resentfully at the contents of the top folder on the pile. "Midwest Sales Report", she read. "August, 2008." Columns of numbers in black and white. "Color would help," she thought. On the next page there were graphs and pie charts, all of them in bright reds and greens and blues. "Color doesn't help," she sighed, heading down in the elevator to the bar below. "What's it all about, Alfie?"

"Damned if I know," the bartender answered, setting another margarita before her.

She twirled the little pink parasol that came with the big pink drink.

"You should take a business course," the spirit sitting beside her advised. "The pie charts might become more meaningful to you."

She looked up and squinted, the voice strangely familiar.

"Richie!" she exclaimed, recognizing him. "You're dead, Richie. Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

He shrugged. "On this Soap, definitely. But believe or not, there's life after Pine Valley."

"So why are you here?" she persisted. 'Why aren't you haunting your deranged sister?"

Again he shrugged. "Been doing that for a while, but she doesn't need me anymore. She's joined forces with Adam Chandler. They're conspiring to take over Fusion."

That interested her to some degree. "My Fusion?"

"None other."

Kendall sighed. "At least that's a Storyline. Zach keeps nagging me about not having a Storyline of our own."

"That isn't a Storyline of your own," Richie felt compelled to point out. "It's Annie's and Adam's. And maybe Greenlee's and Babe's and JR's. And maybe partially yours. But not Zach's. Not Zendall's."

"Definitely not Zendall's," Kendall concurred.

"Why not Zendall's?" Zach asked, plopping himself on the empty barstool to her left, so that she was sandwiched in between him and Richie's ghost. "Why can't Zendall take over the Take Over Storyline?"

"Because it's boring," Kendall replied. 'And it's stupid. And it's been done to death."

"Unlike the Many Many Many Many Many Many Loves of Ryan Lavery?" Zach shot back.

"It isn't Ryan's fault if the Love of His Life keeps eluding him!" Kendall said tearfully.

"And who might that be this month?" Zach challenged. 'Greenlee the Green Butterfly? Whatever happened to Rendell?"

"I was only a detour," Kendall explained sadly, as if she were reciting something she had memorized.

"You two were really hot together in the day," Richie comforted her awkwardly.

"But Greenlee is Ryan's One True Love," Kendall recited.

"Tell that to my sister," Richie said sweetly, gently rubbing the back of his ghostly head. "Then duck!"

Kendall nodded, finishing her drink in one gulp. "That's what I've been trying to tell everybody! Annie is a menace. She's got to stopped!"

"Kendall, give it a rest!" Zach groaned.

"Richie agrees with me," she offered in her own defense.

"Richie is dead, gone and off the Show," Zach summarized, motioning for the bartender.

"Whisky straight up, Alfie," he ordered. "Hold the little pink umbrellas."

"They're parasols, Slater," Richie corrected him mildly.

"He can't hear you or see you," Kendall clarified. "You're a ghost."

"I can hear him," Zach clarified. "I can even see him. What difference does it make? He's not going to tell us who killed him, so what good is he?"

"Annie killed me," Richie said at once.

"See?" Kendall howled. "I told you it was her! I told you! Didn't I tell you?"

"Too obvious," Zach differed, draining his whisky. "That's what they want us to think."

Richie eyed him resentfully as he dematerialized.

"You wanna go back to the beach house?" Zach asked not too hopefully.

Kendall shook her head. "Sex isn't the answer to everything, Zach. I'm beginning to believe it isn't the answer to _anything!_"

That didn't sound good. Zach took a deep breath. There was something new on his mind. In spite of himself, he had been reading the Message Boards. "Kendall, are you leaving the Show?"

His question hung heavily in the air.

"Ryan told Greenlee that he loves her," Kendall answered him, as if that was an answer.

"There are rumors that negotiations aren't going too well with the Idiots in Charge," Zach pursued, ignoring her meaningless evasion. "The Powers That Be. You know who I mean."

"Greenlee told Aidan for some reason that Ryan loves her and Aidan beat up Ryan," Kendall continued.

"Good," Zach said, meaning it. "Somebody should beat up Ryan. Everybody should beat up Ryan. Regularly. We should all take turns."

"I don't know how this will end, Zach! Annie is completely crazy yet Ryan is determined to make his charade of a marriage work!"

That did it.

"How about OUR charade of a marriage?" Zach demanded, sweeping her roughly into his embrace, which caused both of their glasses to crash heavily to the floor, where they smashed into a zillion glittering pieces. "Too late to make our marriage work, Kendall? Too late to make US work?"

He kissed her hard, as if their world was about to end, as if this was the last time he would ever hold her, feel her against him, mold her body to his, inhale her, taste her, forget where she began and he left off.

"Is it a matter of money or do you just want time off to do other things?" he breathed when they came up for air."

"I dunno," she confessed. "My Agent only tells me stuff on a need-to-know basis. Zach, don't you think Ryan deserves to be happy?"

Zach knocked two more glasses off the bar.

"Easy!" Alfie pleaded at the sound of their crash. "Broken glass don't pick itself up!"

"I'll have my men sweep up the pieces," Zach offered apologetically. "Kendall, let's go to the beach house. Last time I think we nearly had a breakthrough."

"No doubt about that," Kendall recalled. "I couldn't walk right for two days." She frowned. "You know, Zach, Ryan should never have told Loony Annie that he remembers now that he's in love with Greenlee."

Zach couldn't believe his ears. "Kendall, this isn't Junior High School!" he heard himself bellow at her. "You know how this is going to wind up, don't you? Ryan, Greenlee, Aidan and Annie are going to blame YOU for butting into their lives!"

Two more glasses broke all by themselves.

"Why would they blame me?" a perplexed Kendall asked. "Oh, that's right. I always get blamed."

"Not by me!" Zach cried out, grabbing her as only he could. "I'm the one whose always been on your side!" He let her go, deciding to take another tact. "By the way, Spike told me to tell you he misses you. Ian seemed to agree with him. He'll be talking and walking any day now. They'll probably SORAS both of them before we know it. Kendall, remember Spike? Remember Ian? Remember me?"

A far-away look came into her gorgeous eyes. "I can't believe how Aidan went after Ryan after Greenlee told him what Ryan told her. About him loving her, I mean."

"I know that's what you mean," Zach sighed sadly.

"I hate hitting," Kendall declared. "Why do men like to hit?"

"Because we're violent bastards," Richie's disembodied voice replied matter-of-factly.

"Zach, did you hit Aidan when you found out that he and I – uh – uh – "

"Went all the way?" Alfie asked helpfully.

"That only happened once!" Kendall said in her own defense. "And it would never have happened at all if I wasn't pretty sure that Zach was dead and if Aidan wasn't pretty sure that Greenlee was dead. Aidan and I were simply mourning our lost loves." She sniffed at the painful memory. "Zach, did you slug Aidan after you found out that he and I --?"

"Naturally," Zach recalled. "It made me feel worlds better. Nothing clears the air like a right hook to the jaw." He looked at Kendall then as if he were wondering something.

"Forget that," she instructed. "Or else I'm outta here BEFORE my contract is up!"

--

_Will Zach slug Kendall into realizing how much trouble they are in, or will he only grab her, push her and drag her around like he usually does? Will Kendall suddenly realize there is more to life than pie charts, margaritas and Rylee? Will either one remember what we can't forget – how amazing Zendall was and can be again if only --? If only._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three – The End of Zen?

_Recap – Facing life without a Storyline of their own, Zendall has begun to debate their place in the scheme of things. The debate continues as a new potentially devastating development presents itself._

--

"I think we're getting a divorce," Kendall said, slowly putting down her copy of the Script that had been slid under Zach's office door a few minutes before. "You probably shouldn't have threatened to have my brother killed."

Scowling, Zach nodded and put down his copy. "Yeah, looks like we're headed for the Super-Couple Scrap Heap. You probably shouldn't have visited Annie in the hospital."

They were in his office at the Casino. lying on their backs next to each other, on his desk, her head on his chest. Their clothes were carelessly strewn about the room. They had shared an unforgettable afternoon of passion and pleasure. And then the Scripts showed up.

"They can't break us up!" Kendall cried out, sitting up and tossing the Script over her shoulder. "Zen is Destiny!"

Zach got off the desk, put on his clothes and endeavored to see the bright side as he began pacing the length of his office.

"At least it's a Storyline."

Hopping off of the desk, Kendall was less sanguine as she stood right in front of him, slipping on her skimpy halter dress, stopping him from pacing and forcing him to look her in the eye.

"Divorce isn't a Storyline! Divorce is the end of Zendall! Zach, it's curtains! Haven't those idiot writers ever heard of marriage counseling? We've got two kids! Okay, I haven't actually seen Spike and Ian in a few months, but they're still ours! Okay, Spike isn't your bio child, but you love him like he is! You're a Hockey Dad! How can we throw that all away? Zach, are you listening to me?"

He was listening -- which was rare for him in this last year. He hardly ever listened to her anymore. When he did tune in, she was always going on and on about Ryan and Greenlee or Ryan and Annie. Never about them. And now this. According to the Script he had just scanned, Zendall might soon be a thing of the past. He caught his breath. Was that even possible? With their history? With their fan base?

"It isn't for forever, Kendall," he reasoned for them both. "This is Pine Valley. How many times did Tad and Dixie get divorced? Even Adam Chandler and your Mother have started making eyes at each other again, and they've been exes for decades!"

"Zach, what are you saying?" Kendall asked, collapsing into the nearest chair, as frightened as she was confused.

"Kendall, we have nothing to be afraid of! Divorce in Pine Valley never lasts. Even long separations aren't for always. Look at Angie and Jesse. They're back together after twenty years! And Jesse was dead!"

"And buried," Kendall agreed. "Like your Father."

"My Father was cremated," Zach corrected her,

"And still he managed to come back to life and terrorize us!" Kendall said wonderingly. "No wonder we have new Writers!"

Sitting down in the chair next to her, Zach held her slightly shaking hand in his and continued to look on the bright side.

"Anyway our divorce isn't a done deal. We could still work things out."

Kendall hung her head in despair. "No, it's a New Regime. Everything and everyone is getting shaken up. Jack and my Mother are a foregone conclusion. Aidan and Greenlee are on the brink. Annie's already walked out on Ryan." She brightened a trifle. "At least that's some GOOD news!"

Zach darkened a trifle. "A Splitting-Up Storyline might be just what we need," he mused. "All kinds of things might be hashed out."

"Like your semi-violent tendencies?" Kendall asked lightly, shaking off his comforting hand and rubbing her left arm which still throbbed from the last time he dragged her away from a confrontation with Annie.

"Like your Ryan obsession," Zach differed.

"You mean Rylee obsession," Kendall differed.

"I know what I mean," Zach maintained. "Face it, Kendall. You're still in love with Ryan Lavery."

There. He had said it. His assertion hung heavily between them, unanswered for several awkward, endless seconds.

"No, I'm-I'm not," she stammered at last. "I-I couldn't be. I was only a --"

"Detour," he finished. "So I've heard. But if somewhere down deep you don't still have the hots for Mr. Wonderful, why all the intense interest in his love life?"

"Bad writing?" she guessed.

He had no argument to that. And yet.

"Kendall, did you ever walk out on Ryan? You know. Walk out. Leave the bastard. Like Greenlee did. Like Annie did."

She sighed a long sigh. "No, not me. Ryan was always the flatleaver. He picked Greenlee over me. And further back than that, the first time we went together, back when he thought he was Chris Stamp's son, he left town after he found out I was about to boink Aidan."

That got Zach's attention but good.

"You slept with Aidan another time? Before this last time? When you were with Ryan?"

She tried her level best to make him understand.

"When he first came to Pine Valley, Aidan was doing construction on my Mother's penthouse, and I needed him to build me a peep hole so I could get the goods on her."

Zach looked baffled.

"Erica and I didn't exactly get along in those days," she therefore sought to explain.

"But you're so close now!" Zach observed. "Why the change?"

"Different writers, different Kendall."

"This all happened before the Recast?" Zach asked hopefully.

"Nope, it happened to me." She did her best to be clear. "For a long time I was still the same Kendall I was before the Recast. My hatred and resentment for Erica were my motivating forces. Later on I changed. I like to think I evolved. But when I first came back, when I first knew Ryan, I was – what was I?" She gave that some thought. "I was a freakin' emotional mess!"

They shared a sudden laugh and she silently reflected on how good it was to share something with him beside sex. Not that sex with Zach wasn't amazing. But lately sex was the only thing they shared. And it wasn't always that way. Was it?

"I know," she said when the laughter ended with them both smiling in each other's arms. "I'm still a freakin' emotional mess."

"That's part of your charm." He tried to keep smiling as the next thought hit him. But he couldn't do it. "Tell me about you and Aidan. Back then."

"Oh," she said, pushing out of his embrace as she avoided his eyes. "Back then. Well, Aidan wouldn't help me unless I helped him. So I was in the process of doing that. Unfortunately, Ryan walked in on us."

"That must of killed the mood," Zach said dryly.

Kendall sighed.

"That killed Rendall."

Zach guessed the rest.

"Ryan left town?"

Kendall nodded, her eyes clouding with the memory.

"Flatleaver."

Zach nearly gasped. He saw it all for the first time. Now all he had to do was to make Kendall see it.

"That's why you can't let go! You were never the one who left Ryan. It was always Ryan who left you. It's never been over for you, Kendall!"

But Kendall refused to accept that. It wasn't true, she thought. It couldn't be true.

"I let go of Ryan! I fell in love with you, Zach. Well, first I fell in love with your son, Ethan. After all, this is a Soap. But then I fell in love with YOU! And I've stayed in love with you! Always only you!"

Gently, he put his arms on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. Forcing her to look at the truth.

"Okay, have it your way. You're not in love with Ryan Lavery. But you're tied to him all the same. That's why you're nearly killing yourself trying to orchestrate his life. Ryan has pushed you away too many times to count, but you keep bouncing back to him, telling him who to love and who not to love."

"Zach, that's not fair!" Kendall cried. "All I want is for Ryan to be happy! I'm his friend! I'm the mother of his child!"

"And who arranged that? And why? Spike was supposed to be Greenlee's baby. When Madden couldn't use her egg, you decided to use your own. WHY?"

"I don't know. Am I supposed to know? What difference does it make?"

"Plenty. After Dynamite Kiddo chose the Green Butterfly, the only way you could be part of his life was to be part of Rylee. Annie would never let you into their lives the way that Greenlee does because Annie doesn't have the history with you that Greenlee has. Both of you fought over Ryan and both of you mourned his make-believe death. At one point, both of you were having his baby! In the middle of all that, somehow you found time to start a major cosmetics company together."

She glared at him, anger replacing hurt. "OMIGOD, you're making this up as you go along! I thought you were a man of few words! For months and months you hardly speak to me and now this? Where do you get this stuff? You should be writing fanfiction! Forget Pratt, YOU should be Headwriter!"

But Zach couldn't stop himself now that he had begun. Even if not stopping meant hurting her and destroying them. He had no choice. He had to go on. If there was any hope for them, she had to understand the truth of her own heart.

"That's why you got pregnant with Spike and that's why you insist on breaking up Ryannie! You have an absolute need to be part of Ryan's life! Any way that you can!"

Zach's analysis stung Kendall to the core.

"It isn't true! It isn't true! I love YOU, Zach! Always only you! When you were on trial for Madden's murder, I could have gone back to Ryan! Greenlee was gone then and the field was clear. He wanted me then! But I didn't want him. I chose you."

And for the first time Zach knew why.

"You chose me because you knew that I would never play second fiddle to Lavery. If you'd married him, I wouldn't be hanging around waiting for crumbs. I would have been out of your life, Kendall. And you wanted both of us. You still want both of us. The only way you can have that is to be married to me and have Ryan married to Greenlee."

Kendall replied to all of that with a mute look of horror. Zach took a step back, seeing the effect his logic was having on his wife.

"Kendall, I'm sorry. That's a lot to throw at you -- a lot for you to take in. I got carried away because all of this time I didn't understand."

Kendall sniffed. "You don't understand me. You don't understand us. No wonder we're getting a divorce."

She was exhausted. At her rope's end. Hopeless. The death of Zendall was at hand. The Powers That Be wanted them to break up and Zach obviously believed that hooey he had just spouted about her and Ryan. What could she say to convince him nobody mattered to her but him? Not realizing why, she eyed the desk. The desk. Well, that always worked.

"Ya think we can be Divorced with Benefits?"

"I can't imagine why not," he said without hesitation, lifting her back onto the desk and climbing on top of her.

"Just don't leave me," she whispered, embracing him. "Even if they make us break up. Promise me we'll muddle through together somehow. Even if we're not together. You know what I mean."

"I promise," he promised, his voice husky with pain and desire. He realized that nothing he had said about her Ryan obsession had gotten through to her. But he realized something more. "God help me, I love you, Kendall. Always only you!"

"Us!" she cried out, holding him tighter than tight. With that one word, Kendall became as magnificently defiant and completely delusional as ever a Kane Woman was, as she dared Destiny and/or the Writers with all of her being. "Always only us!"

--

_Can Zendall face down all that's about to befall them? Will a Storyline of their own mean heartbreak for them and heartburn for us? Come back for our next exciting Chapter as we find out together what the future holds (and what Pratt is plotting) for our Zen!_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four – The Calm Before the Tornado

_Recap – Before Pine Valley is hit with the tornado, Zendall faces a storm of their own._

--

He had to tell her. She'd find out anyway soon enough. But he couldn't tell her. Not now. But when?

"I'm so happy that Ryan got custody of Emma!" she was laughing, happily plopping down on the couch in their living room. "Now we can concentrate on us!"

"I remember us," Zach replied, joining her on their couch, deciding to postpone thinking about the unthinkable. For the moment, he would think about Zendall. "We were quite the thing back in the day."

She frowned. "Back in what day? This is our day! Zendall is as Now as it ever was! Zach, we're the Destiny Couple!"

"Not so much anymore," he sighed. "In my humble opinion."

She wondered what the hell he was talking about. "Nobody can touch Zen," she said. "No other couple on the Show comes close." She thought that through. "Who do you think comes close?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, Kendall. But I'm beginning to believe we've been back-burnered too long to make it back. Just a feeling, that's all." It was more than a feeling, but he was light years from ready to tell her how much more than a feeling it was.

"Who?" Kendall persisted. "Jake and his Soldier? They're fugitives from another Show. I realize she has post-traumatic shock syndrome, but it takes more than that to make it in Pine Valley!"

"I like Taylor," Zach said mildly. "There's something going on behind those eyes! You think Brot is still alive?"

Kendall couldn't care less. "I couldn't care – forget them. Who else is there? Tad and KWAK? Phooey. JR and Babe? They left town!"

"They're coming back," Zach corrected her. "But I don't see a happy ending there."

"Good," Kendall commented heartlessly, having never forgiven Babe for the infamous baby swap of several years before much less her recent Bella venture, which had closed down Fusion for the foreseeable future. "So who else is there? Angie and Jesse? Too Been There Done That. Adam and my Mother? That's only comic relief. Colby and Petey? Hah! Jackson and Carman? Double hah! Aidan and Greenlee? Practically splittsville."

Zach nodded. "He should never have bugged her earrings. I wouldn't have gone that far."

"Yes, you would," Kendall had to disagree. "It sounds just like one of your inspirations. Were you the one who advised Aidan to do that?"

"Not me," Zach denied vehemently. "Okay, so what about Rylee? Are they the Supercouple to beat?"

Kendall laughed. "Oil and water have more chemistry than Ryan and Greenlee!"

Zach agreed completely but he was surprised to hear Kendall say that. "I thought you thought that they were the loves of each other lives."

Kendall giggled. "Did I think that? Oh, yeah, I did. Well, I just wanted Ryan in a stable relationship that I can undermine whenever I want to. Greenlee is so easy to throw off-kilter!" She blinked, slightly stunned by her burst of honesty. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I just want Ryan and Greens to be happy."

Zach wasn't too sure about that. "Kendall, do you want another Rendall go-around? For old times sake? To settle old scores?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said with a straight face. "By the way, I consider your reaction to Ryan's sleepover the other night extremely mature. Emma needed him."

"Well, she's got him now," Zach observed. "Full custody."

"You did that," Kendall knew. "Thank you for that. Annie needs centuries of therapy before she's ready to raise even a geranium. Are you really going to make her disappear, or did you just say that to cheer me up?"

Zach sighed with all of his being. He had to tell her. Telling her was the last thing he wanted to do. But he had to tell her.

"I saw another script," he began slowly, standing up.

That got her attention. "About the tornado? About us? Do we survive? Do Spike and Ian survive? Does anybody survive? SPILL IT, ZACH!"

She got up from the couch and stood next to him, fists clenched.

He took a deep breath and began to tell her. The first part wouldn't be too bad, he thought.

"You go into a coma."

He gathered her into his arms, while she took that in.

"A coma? Again? I've been in a coma. Why do I have to go into another one?"

"I don't write this stuff, Kendall."

Defiant, she broke out of their embrace.

"Why did you get a script and I didn't?"

"I guess they figured you didn't need one. How many lines do you suppose you have while in a coma?"

"Good point. Damn. I hate being in a coma."

"And Bianca is coming back." This part wouldn't be bad at all, he thought. He gathered her back into his arms, and she didn't push him away.

"Something great happening at last!" she laughed, hugging him hard. "I absolutely adore my sister! And she's coming back!"

"And she's having a baby." Kendall almost knew everything now, he thought. Almost.

"Go know. I thought she was a --"

"And I'm the Father."

Crickets chirping. Water dripping. Labored breathing. This was the bad bad part, all right.

"Kendall? Did you hear what I said? I'm the Father of Bianca's new baby."

She heard. And instantly she knew what it meant. She pushed him away and fell upon the couch, her suddenly aching head in her suddenly shaking hands.

"This is what breaks us up," she whispered, petrified to say it aloud. "This is the end of Zen!"

"Bianca wanted a baby," Zach was explaining, as if he hadn't heard Kendall render their death sentence. "She wanted one that was as biologically close to Miranda as possible."

Kendall nodded numbly. "That makes sense. Every woman wants her child to be biologically related to her rapist."

"So she asked me for a sample. A sperm sample."

Kendall stared up at him as if he had sprouted another head. She tried to speak but couldn't. Then she couldn't stop.

"She asked you for a sample? A sperm sample? What the f--? That must have been some conversation. 'Zach, you're the best brother-in-law in the world. If you can spare it, can I have a big helping of your bodily fluids? Pretty please?' When did all of this happen? Where was I? In another coma?"

"It happened off-camera," Zach recounted, sitting next to her, needing to be close to her, afraid she would never want him close to her again.

"Why the hell did you do it?" she yelled. "Oh, that's right. You don't know why you did it. You don't write this stuff."

"At least it's a Storyline," he said, trying to look on the bright side. He reached for her, needing to touch her, needing to hear her say they would weather this storm just as they would weather the tornado.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?" Kendall screamed, pushing him off of the couch.

"What would have been the point in telling you?" he asked from the floor, ruefully rubbing the arm he had fallen on. Maybe he should have put all of this in a letter to her instead of telling her in person, he reflected. Too late now. "I never thought she'd actually go through with it. But she did."

"Omigod, omigod. My niece is going to be my step-daughter!"

She was beyond rage. Beyond despair. Beyond his love for her?

"Kendall --"

"What do I care?" she cried out, her voice rising dangerously, her cheeks wet with tears. "I'm going into a coma!"

More than anything, she wished she was already in one.

--

_Is this the end of Zen? Not by a long shot! Please come back for our next Chapter where we will deal with tornados, sextets, Pratt, and various and sundry items of great and not-so-great concern._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five – The Angst After the Tornado

_Recap – After months of playing back-up to Ryan, Greenlee, Annie and Aidan, at long last Zendall is once again front and center. Well, it will be once Kendall is out of her coma. In the meantime…_

--

Bianca and Zach were in Kendall's hospital room, praying that she would regain consciousness.

"At least you've got a Storyline," Bianca observed cheerfully. "Just as soon as Kendall wakes up, you'll be right in the thick of things again!" She looked down at the smiling baby in her arms. Beautiful, perfect Gabrielle. Silently, she thanked the Writers for their courage and complete lack of good taste. "I think she looks like you, Zach. Do you think she looks like you?"

Zach nodded numbly. His town had been destroyed by a series of killer tornados, the Love of His Life was lying unconscious in a hospital bed with a huge bandage wrapped around her once-gorgeous head, attached to several machines that were taking turns tunelessly beeping, his fan base had turned violently and vocally against him and his sister-in-law was asking him if the baby he never should have fathered looked like him. Actually, she did.

"She's beautiful," he said, unable to take his eyes from her. "Completely beautiful."

"She's a honey all right," Bianca agreed. "Seven weeks early and ready to rock! I'm so happy you agreed to give me your sperm! Well, not all of it, of course. You know what I mean."

"I didn't decide anything!" Zach felt compelled to point out. "It was Pratt and the damn Writers! They came up with the off-camera trip to Paris that somehow led to your test tube knock-up. I had absolutely nothing to do with it.! Nothing! Now all of the Zendall fans despise me!"

"At least you're conscious," a comatose Kendall thought resentfully. She was in the hospital bed they had put her in weeks before, after her rescue from what used to be their beach house. Even though she couldn't speak or move, she heard everything. That was the rotten thing about comas in Pine Valley, she thought. You still get to hear everything, whether you want to or not. Right now she was hearing her husband and sister talk about their new baby. THEIR new baby? How could they have a baby? "I'm having a nightmare," Kendall thought. "Right in the middle of my coma." Only she knew it was no nightmare. The two people she loved most in the world had betrayed her. Bianca had borrowed her husband's sperm as nonchalantly as if she had borrowed a sweater. If she hadn't been in a coma, Kendall would have gagged at the thought.

"Eddie Fisher wasn't as hated when he left Debbie for Liz!" Zach was elaborating. "Babe wasn't as hated when she kept Miranda from you!"

"Poor Babe," Bianca sighed. "I didn't really know the Recast, but the Original was HOT! How could I not forgive her for passing Miranda off as her own while I went on thinking for months and months that she was dead and gone?"

"Did something bad happen to Babe?" Kendall asked herself, still deep in her coma. "Please somebody say something bad happened to Babe!"

"With Babe gone, I am the most hated person in Pine Valley," Zach said sadly.

"Babe's gone?" Kendall thought, desperate for more information. "Like to San Diego gone?"

"You're forgetting Ryan," Bianca reminded him. "Everybody hates Ryan. And then there's David Haywood. If he comes back for Babe's funeral --"

"YES!" Kendall cried out silently.

"Read the message boards, Bianca," Zach sighed. "I'm finished in this town. Or what's left of this town. You know what I mean."

Bianca giggled. "Gabrielle, I think your Daddy is a wee bit testy," she cooed to their baby. "He must have gotten up on the wrong side of bed this morning!"

"I don't have a bed," Zach corrected her stiffly. "I have the broken bits that used to be my bed. Not unlike the broken bits that used to be my marriage. Not unlike the broken bits that used to be my Character. "

"You know, Zach, Kendall never leant me her any of her clothes," Bianca was reminiscing at that moment. "She was always amazingly selfish about what belonged to her. Of course, I met her when she was already an adult, so I don't honestly know if she would have let me borrow her clothes when we were growing up. Somehow I doubt it." She smiled at Zach. "Do you think we should have thought this through a little more?"

"I think it'll be okay," Zach lied bravely. "Kendall loves you and she's crazy about me. She and I are a Destiny Couple. She's bound to understand."

"I understand all right," Kendall was thinking. "My sister is the Skank from Hell and my husband is Satan. We talk on the damn phone twice a week, Bianca. You couldn't mention to me that you were having my husband's baby? Saint Bianca my left foot!"

"You're right, Zach," Bianca was saying. "Even if she doesn't understand right away (and who can really blame her if she doesn't?), at least she'll forgive us. Eventually. She has to forgive us."

"I'll never, ever forgave you, you pathetic she-demon," Kendall was thinking. "No wonder you can't stay in a relationship. You don't deserve a relationship. I pity the poor girl you're sleeping with!"

"Reese is so lucky to have you, Bianca," Zach was saying solemnly.

"You're wrong, Zach," Bianca disagreed. 'I'm the lucky one." She looked down at her sleeping baby. "I mean, we're the lucky one. Ones. You know what I mean."

"I know, Bianca," Zach agreed. "I can't get over how cool Reese is."

"Barf me with a tongue depressor!" Kendall thought. "I can't stand this! Who are these people? Zach and Bianca wouldn't do this to me in a billion years! This is the friggin' end of Zendall! How can we ever come back from this? If I weren't in this damn coma, there might be a chance for us. I could fight for us! I could knock out Bianca, kidnap the baby, develop amnesia and believe she was mine! What a good idea! Did I see that someplace? Oh, yeah, I remember. Erica kidnapped Maddie from Maria when she thought Dimitry was the father. Well, who cares if its been done before? It's better than this crap!"

"Zach, I'll never forget how you lifted my baby into the air after you delivered her," Bianca was saying softly.

"Zach, I'll never forget how you betrayed me with my slut of a sister at the same time you were growling at me non-stop for meddling in Ryan's love life," Kendall was thinking.

"Bianca, she's my baby too," Zach was saying softly.

"Oh, good," Kendall was thinking. "I sense a custody smack-down is in the offing. Go at it, kids. I'll be sitting in the jury room laughing my head off. If my head ever heals."

"She's all our Child," Bianca was saying diplomatically. "Yours, mine and Reese's."

Zach nodded mechanically.

"Reese is so cool."

--

_However will this Storyline play out? Will Bianca and Zach grow closer? Will Reese understand? How cool IS she? Will Zach's fans ever forgive him? How about Bianca's fans? Can Zendall find its way back to one another? I dunno, but I can't wait to find out!_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six – "Comatose In Canada"

_Recap – Pine Valley has been more or less destroyed by a series of killer tornados, Kendall's in a coma and has been moved to Canada, the Coma-Fighting Capital of the World, for further treatment. Zach is a New Daddy – thanks to Bianca, Reese, a test tube, and some seriously misguided Writers._

_---------------------------_

"Kendall, I've got to get back to Pine Valley," a heartsick Zach told his still-comatose better half, his voice nearly breaking. "I needed to see you so much that I dropped everything and followed you North. But Reese is restoring the Casino and I have to find out why she hasn't found a way to reconcile with her parents. Sounds fishy to me. She's cool, but she's up to something."

Kendall was unmoved by all of this. Literally.

"I knocked Taylor down two flights of stairs," Zach continued, trying to fill Kendall in on the latest news from home despite the agony of attempting to hold a normal conversation with the still gorgeous but completely unresponsive shell who was, and would always be, the Love of His Life. "It was an accident. I was aiming at Jake."

Kendall pulled the breathing tube out of her mouth and sat up.

"Don't get excited," she cautioned Zach, as she took her place on his lap. "You're only imagining this."

He swept her into his arms kissed her anyway. "At this point, I'll take what I can get."

They both looked back at Real Kendall, still on the hospital bed, still deep in her coma.

"Where am I" Comatose Real Kendall was asking herself at that moment. "This doesn't feel like Pine Valley Hospital."

"Where am I?" Imaginary Kendall wanted to know. "This doesn't feel like Pine Valley Hospital."

"You're in Canada," Zach told them both, thinking he was speaking only to his fantasy. "You're in a world-famous hospital that specializes in reversing comas. Erica found it for you."

"In Canada?" Comatose Real Kendall and Imaginary Kendall asked. "There's a world-famous hospital that specializes in reversing comas in Canada?"

"I could kill Jake," Zach growled. "We wouldn't be in Canada, you wouldn't be in a coma, if Boy Neurosurgeon hadn't operated on you by flashlight."

Imaginary Kendall couldn't disagree more. "It's nobody's fault," she sighed. "I mean, nobody's fault other than the Writers. Pratt wanted to give Zen a challenge to their marriage." She looked back at Comatose Real Kendall. "Man, are we ever challenged!"

"I wonder how you'll take the news about my baby daughter when you wake up," Zach wondered.

"I'll be as understanding as I always am," Imaginary Kendall predicted.

"I will plot mass murder," vowed Comatose Real Kendall.

"It isn't your fault," Imaginary Kendall comforted Zach. "It isn't Bianca's fault either. It's Pratt's fault."

"It's Pratt's fault that the actress who plays you is taking a three-month honeymoon?" Zach howled before he could stop himself.

"Screw you," thought Comatose Real Kendall.

Imaginary Kendall was outraged by Zach's attitude. "She deserves a three-month honeymoon! She deserves a three-YEAR honeymoon. Kendall Hart has been in nearly every stinking scene since forever! If it hasn't been Kendall front and center, it's been Babe! And Babe has been played by TWO actresses!"

"Babe is dead," Zach pointed out.

Imaginary Kendall nodded. "Stop trying to cheer me up. They still shouldn't have used the excuse of Lish's honeymoon to destroy Zendall. It doesn't make any sense. Not only are they trashing you, look what they're doing to Binx! And people started hating poor Reese before she even hit town!"

"And she's so cool," Zach observed. "It's a pity. Greenlee is leaving AMC, by the way."

"Greenlee or the actress who plays her?" Imaginary Kendall queried.

"Both," he answered. "Forever this time."

"Screw Greenlee," Comatose Real Kendall ruminated. "Another Flatleaver. Just like Ryan. Screw 'em both."

"I hope I wake up in time to say good-bye to her," Imaginary Kendall hoped. "And I hope they give her a good send-off. Wouldn't it be great if Leo showed up alive and they left Pine Valley together?"

"Dream come true," Zach cracked, never having known Leo and not even having watched AMC back then. He sighed. There was something else. He wished he had the strength to stay away from the Message Boards, but the need to learn what was in store for them always trumped the dread he felt about what was in store for them. He hesitated to tell her what he had learned of her future. But since she wasn't real, he went ahead.

"They're going to change you, Kendall. Because of the damage your brain sustained when Jake was operating on you in a black-out with a flashlight. I gather you're going to be more like you were before you evolved." A look of intense pain covered his incredibly handsome face as he told the Imaginary Love of Life what The Idiots in Charge were planning to do to her. "You're going to be a villainess. Raging. Volatile. Violent. Scheming. Manipulative. Unforgiving."

"That's a shame," Imaginary Kendall commented, not taking the news too hard because of her imaginary status. "I've made such progress with my trust issues. Because of you, I guess. Zach, you were the one who finally taught me how to trust." She thought that through. "Of course, that was before you betrayed me with Bianca, Reese and a test tube. Damn Writers."

"Screw the Writers," Comatose Real Kendall thought. "Just wait'll I wake up. I'm gonna knock off everybody who ever did me dirt. Especially the Writers."

"I never knew that version of Kendall," Zach mused. "I wonder if we'll still feel the same about one another. How could we if Pratt turns her back into a She-Demon?"

Imaginary Kendall hugged him hard. "You'll probably be crazier about each other than ever! How out of character could they write her? I know Pratt turned "General Hospital" into the "The Sopranos Do Daytime", but Kendall could never be a female Sonny! Of course, she'll probably be angry and hurt because she wasn't consulted when Bianca and Reese got you to donate a cup of your manhood, but that will pass. Anyway, she's bound to be more exciting! Think of all the flying plates you'll have to dodge!"

"Think of all the flying knives you'll have to dodge," Comatose Real Kendall silently amended.

"How's Ryan?" Imaginary Kendall wanted to know.

"Why would my fantasy of Kendall ask me about Lavery?" a bewildered Zach demanded.

She shrugged. "It's your fantasy, baby. Kendall's feelings toward Ry are probably still bugging you. She's not in love with him, you know."

"In fact, I'm going to murder him," Comatose Real Kendall decided. "I'll probably win the Congressional Medal of Honor for doing it. I'm going to murder everybody I can get my hands on. I'm going to be the female Sonny."

"I just want him to be happy and back with Greenlee, who's leaving AMC anyway, so what the hell?"

"I hope I wake up before she leaves," Comatose Real Kendall hoped. "So I can – you know."

"Emma was missing for a long time after the tornado," Zach contributed. "Annie arranged a phony kidnapping that went sour. Somehow she got Aidan involved."

Imaginary Kendall made a face. "Aidan can be such a sap sometimes!"

"I may let Aidan live," Comatose Real Kendall thought. "He's terrific in bed. I wonder how my fabulous flashlight surgeon is doing. Has he put anybody else into a coma lately?"

"Jake has got Taylor nearly walking again," Zach was reporting to Imaginary Kendall. "And she's smiling more lately."

"Sounds like love to me," Comatose Real Kendall thought. "Too bad I'm going to slaughter both of them."

"And Jesse is torn between his two families," Zach continued to summarize.

"That's nice," Comatose Real Kendall thought absently. "Wait. I have nothing against Jesse or Angie. I'll have to think of something. Nobody must be allowed to survive my Post-Coma Fury!"

"That's nice," Imaginary Kendall said absently. "How's my Mother's make-believe affair with Adam coming along?"

"Not so make-believe these days," Zach told her.

"Dead, dead, dead," Comatose Real Kendall summarized. "Mommy Dearest will pay dearly for sticking me in a hick hospital hundreds of miles away from my moronic husband and my conniving sister. In Canada, yet."

"I wish I were awake and back in the thick of things," Imaginary Kendall wished. "Anything else going on?"

"David Hayward is back," Zach revealed. "He's all about avenging Babe's death."

"My kind of guy," Comatose Real Kendall thought, in spite of her feelings about the late never-to-be lamented Babe.

Imaginary Kendall frowned. "Did I ever sleep with David?"

Comatose Real Kendall searched her memory. "I don't think I ever did. Oh boy! Now I have two things to look forward to when I wake up! Nailing Doctor Dave and murdering everybody in Pine Valley!"

__

_---------------------------_

_Wow! Is Pratt intent on turning Post-Coma Kendall into a raging, violent, volatile, scheming, manipulative, unforgiving villainess? Am I? How will Zach react to all that drama? (After all, Kendall was never exactly low-maintenance to begin with!) Will he turn to Bianca? Or Reese? Or (preferably) ME??? (It never hurts to ask.) _

_P.S. Canadians and all others, please take note: I LOVE CANADA! And I'm sure your hospitals are first-rate. Forgive me for the jokes! :)_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven – Thanksgiving Dream

_Recap –Due to the tornado and Jake Martin's surgical skill, Kendall Hart Slater is in a coma. At Erica's urging, Zach has had her brought to a world-famous hospital in Canada that specializes in waking people up from comas. But consciousness still eludes Kendall._

-----------------------------------

She was dreaming. These days the only way she could tell that she was dreaming was if she perceived herself as walking and talking and laughing and loving and hating and behaving as she had before the damn coma. Then, when she awoke from what felt like real life into what felt like real death, she knew it had been nothing but a dream.

_It was Thanksgiving and it seemed like all of Pine Valley was gathered around the Slater table, which was heavily laden with every holiday food and drink imaginable, all laid out with an elegance that would have put Martha Stewart into a jealous snit._

"My goodness!" Erica exclaimed. "I never saw so much food!" She wouldn't eat any of it, of course. (Erica never actually ate.) "Kendall, Zach, you've outdone yourselves!"

"Everybody help yourselves!" Kendall cried out. "Spike, no desert before you finish your veggies!" she called out to her son, who was sharing a smaller, but no less festive. table with Ian, Emma, Kathy, Jenny, Miranda and Little Adam. She beamed at Zach, who sat all the way at the other end of the massive table. Zach beamed back.

"Oh, I must be dreaming!" Kendall half-realized, not caring. "This is so beautiful. I'm so happy. Please don't let me wake up yet. Please!"

Zach was carving the turkey with short, decisive strokes.

"Slater, I'm the surgeon," Jake pointed out, "you should let me do that."

"I would, but my flashlight is out of batteries," Zach replied for some reason. "Who wants dark meat?"

"Oh, I do!" Bianca cried out. "And light meat too! I'm pretty sure I can go both ways! Of course, I've never really experimented with that!"

"Whatever," Kendall smiled. "Just don't experiment with my husband. By the way, where's your oh-so-cool sidekick, Reese?"

"She's with Gabrielle," Bianca said. "We weren't sure how welcoming you'd be to all of us."

"Why would that ever cross you backstabbing little mind?" Kendall laughed.

Zach begin methodically filling plates with turkey and passing them to his right. Plate after plate. Faster and faster.

"_Mrs. Slater, can you hear me? If you can, please move your left arm."_

Kendall frowned. Who said that? \

"I don't like disembodied voices," she confided to Michael Cambias, who was seated on her left. "Particularly not during my Thanksgiving dream. I mean, my Thanksgiving dinner. You know what I mean."

Michael leered at her.

"Erica, have something to eat," Adam entreated, passing a plate to her. "Turkey isn't fattening."

"Everything is fattening," Erica replied coolly, passing the heaping plate to her right. "That's why they call it 'food'. By the way, Adam, where's Carmen?"

"How should I know?" Adam demanded, passing a plate to his son. "She only works for me. JR, are you all right?"

"Right as rain," JR smiled. "Here, Babe, you like white meat."

"You betcha," Babe smiled, accepting a plate of turkey and passing along the next plate. "Mama, remember when we used to wrap smoked turkey slices around your curling iron to heat 'em up?"

"Times sure have changed, babydoll," Krystal marveled, winking at Tad, who was busy mashing Snickers bars into his plate.

"And yet they are amazingly the same," David Hayward murmured, beginning to play footsie with Krystal under the table.

"Stop that," Leo advised, observing his older brother's activities and the consequent troubled wrinkle on Krystal's brow. "And put away the libidizone."

"Mind your own business," Krystal mumbled.

"Don't talk that way to my first and easily best husband!" Greenlee shouted.

"Greenlee, don't shout," Jonathan implored her. "Lily can't take shouting."

"Thank you, Jonathan," Lily thanked him. "I'm so glad we're all together today! I usually don't like to be in a crowd of people, but this is different!"

"It sure is!" Kendall marveled, looking around at faces she hadn't seen for too long, except, of course for Michael Cambias, whom she could have definitely done without.

Huge serving platters of stuffing and corn and yams and all the fixings began making their way around the massive table, as the Slaters' guests piled the food high on their plates.

"_Mrs. Slater, can you hear me? If you can, please move your right arm."_

"Kendall, I said pass the damn corn!" Greenlee shouted from halfway down the table, forgetting that Lily couldn't stand shouting. "What are you? Asleep?"

"No, I'm in a coma," Kendall told her, dutifully passing the corn. "Does anybody want any peanut butter pancakes?"

"Not me!" Dixie said at once, shivering only slightly.

"I'll take some, Kendall!" Trevor shouted out, making room on his plate.

"Take it easy, Uncle Porkchop," Hayley urged. "There's so much food! Kendall, where will you find a freezer big enough for the leftovers?"

"Our freezer is pretty big," Janet said dreamily.

"_Mrs. Slater, can you hear me? If you can, please move your left foot."_

"Rebecca, take some more food," Angie prescribed to her dying patient. "Jesse, Frankie, Natalia, make her eat some turkey! She hasn't even touched any!"

"I'm a vegetarian," Rebecca tried to explain to her husband's wife. "It's a healthier way of eating!"

"Brot, you don't have to hide underneath the table," Colby was saying, handing a plate of food down to him. "Taylor would never notice you in this crowd!"

"Colby, you know that I'm crazy in love with you, don't you?" Pete, in a tuxedo, interrupted her.

"Everyone alive knows that you're crazy in love with her," Palmer said reprovingly.

"As if any good will come of it," Opal sniffed.

"Josh, do you want some more of anything?" Erica asked her son solicitously.

"No thanks, Mom," he replied, "I'm not hungry. I'm just grateful just to be here! It's like a dream!"

"_Mrs. Slater, can you hear me? If you can, please move your right foot."_

"Having a good time?" Zach called to Kendall from across the table.

"I would be if this were real," she called back. "Ryan, where's Annie?"

"I'm not sure," Ryan admitted, chewing slowly. "Aidan, where's Annie?"

Aidan shook his head. "No idea. Was she invited?"

"EVERYBODY was invited," Zach said, smiling at Myrtle with all of his heart.

"We weren't invited," Pratt said on behalf of the Writers.

"Damn straight," Zach grunted.

"_Open your eyes, Mrs. Slater. Open one eye. Either eye. Any eye."_

"Everyone ready for dessert?" Kendall asked, as eighteen pumpkin pies, complete with whipped cream, appeared in midair.

"What's wrong?" Zach asked, suddenly beside her. "You look worried."

"This is only a dream," she told him quietly.

"Why would you say that?" he asked, sounding as if he really wanted to know.

"Because I don't think a lot of our guests are still alive," she explained, hoping none of them would hear her say that. "And because there's a voice that keeps telling me to move my arms and legs and to open my eyes. And because there are eighteen pumpkin pies floating over the table."

"Any other clues?" he asked, sounding even more interested.

"Well, the Writers are here," she whispered. "And we would never invite THEM, after what they've done to us!"

"_She's still not responsive, I'm afraid, Mr. Slater. I hate to say this, but I think we've done all we can for her here. Perhaps you should take her back home to Pine Valley."_

"_To die? Is that what you're telling me? You're telling me to take my wife back home to die?" _

"_Not necessarily. She could go on like this for years and years and years."_

"Zach," Kendall, still in her dream, whispered, clutching his arm, drawing him close to her. "I don't want to wake up. There's nothing to wake up to. Can't we just stay like this forever with all of our friends?"

"Nothing lasts forever, Kendall," Pratt told her quietly. "Not even Zendall."

Horrified, Kendall's eyes flew open.

-----------------------------------

_Is Kendall really awake? If so, will it be with vengeance on her mind and in her heart? As soon as I know, you'll know! See you next time! And I hope your Thanksgiving was a dream! _


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight – Zeese?

_Recap – After spending her Thanksgiving in a dream, Kendall wakes up from her coma. But Zach doesn't know yet…_

-----------------------------------

Zach was making love to his fantasy. After all the empty, hopeless days and nights since the tornado, these were the first truly happy moments he knew. Even if they weren't real.

"This is so wrong," he imagined that she was moaning as he drove into her again and again and again and again.

"If this is wrong," he finally managed to say an instant before Heaven fused with Hell, "then I don't want to be right!"

"Yes!" she screamed in what he fantasized was complete erotic abandon. "Yes, Zach, yes! OMIGOD! YES!"

"You said it," he said, satisfied that he had satisfied her so completely. Even if she wasn't real.

"Oh, Zach, how can we ever tell Bianca?" he imagined that she asked him when she finally caught her breath.

-----------------------------

Meanwhile, back in Pine Valley Hospital, where she had been brought that very afternoon after the specialists in the World-Famous Coma-Ending Hospital in Canada had given up on her, Kendall pretended that she was still in a coma.

"Until I decide whom to kill first, I'd better lay low," she had reasoned upon first awakening after her Thanksgiving dream.

The dream had left her momentarily content. Seeing all of her friends (particularly the dead ones) had meant everything to her. To be together with Zach and Spike and Ian had meant more than everything to her. Pratt's dire warning (who invited HIM?) that Zendall wouldn't last forever had filled her with dread – enough dread to wake her all the way up. Upon awakening, after the brief moment of contentment had passed, she remembered. She had been betrayed by the two people she loved and trusted most. All of Pine Valley would pay. The New Revived Kendall Hart Slater would be all about Universal Pay-Back. "He wanted a Storyline," she thought darkly. "I'll give him a Storyline!"

---------------------------------

"Damn!" Zach damned. Why did all his imaginary lovers bring up such uncomfortable topics? At the World-Famous Coma-Ending Hospital in Canada his fantasy of Kendall had started talking about Ryan, and now this one brought up Bianca.

"I obviously don't have this Fantasy Lover thing down pat," he thought.

"Then you'll have to keep working on it," Fantasy Reese purred. "Over and over and over!"

He had no idea why he had chosen Reese to be his Make-Believe Lover. Of course, she was only the latest in quite a few fantasies he had attempted over the last nightmare weeks. There had been Kendall, of course. She had been the first. But making love to an Imaginary Kendall had filled him with more longing than lust. So he had tried others. Angelina. Jessica. Brittany. Beyonce. Hillary. None of these fantasies had come close to relieving his anguish or even diverting him for more than a few seconds. And then came Reese. He hadn't meant to fantasize about Bianca's fiancé. She just popped into bed beside him one horrible night when he was at his lowest ebb. Kendall has been shipped to the World-Famous Coma-Ending Hospital in Canada that very afternoon, and Zach was beside himself. Until Fantasy Reese was beside him, wearing nothing but an enigmatic smile.

"Go away," he had told her half-heartedly. "You don't like men, remember?"

"I like _you_, Zach," she had pouted with that adorable pout he had first noticed in Paris when he had refused to father Bianca's baby. "I like you like crazy!" She proceeded to prove exactly how much she liked him for most of the next three hours, until Zach lay spent and exhausted, staring at the ceiling, completely confused and riddled with guilt.

--------------------------------

Before Kendall could plot any mayhem in detail, Greenlee and Ryan came to call. Kendall decided to remain closed-eyed and silent.

"Welcome back from Canada!" Greenlee greeted her, hopping beside her on the hospital bed, causing the breathing tube in her mouth to dislodge slightly. "We missed you! Right, Ryan?"

Ryan nodded.

"She's in a coma Ryan," Greenlee told him without turning from her friend, as she carefully adjusted the slightly dislodged breathing tube. "She probably can't see you nod or observe your Frankenstein stare. You'll have to actually say something to her."

"She can hear me?" Ryan asked incredulously.

"Absolutely," Greenlee replied. "Think back. You've been in tons of comas in your life. Don't you remember friends talking to you? Willing you to come back to them? I talked to Aidan when he was in his coma after Di shot him by mistake. I think it helped. Of course he hates my guts at this point. But I'm pretty sure that's because of you, Ry, not anything I said to him to get him out of his coma."

"Okay," Ryan said. "What should I say to her?"

"Tell me you're going to murder Greens and commit suicide," Kendall wished. "That will save me so much time and trouble!"

"Tell her she was right about Annie being nuts," Greenlee advised. "That should make her feel glad all over."

"Kendall," Ryan said slowly and meaningfully, pausing between every syllable for maximum dramatic effect "you were right about Annie. She's totally nuts."

Kendall felt glad all over. "Details," she thought, "I need details!"

"She crashed Erica's Tornado Fundraiser and stabbed her nearly to death!" Ryan complied.

"Mommy!" Kendall thought, forgetting her hatred of Erica for convincing Zach to ship her off to the World-Famous Canadian Coma-Ending Hospital.

"But she's okay now," Greenlee filled in, somehow sensing her friend's acute distress.

"She won't be for long," Kendall thought, remembering her hatred of Erica for convincing Zach to ship her off to the World-Famous Canadian Coma-Ending Hospital.

"For some reason Annie flipped out completely. Maybe because Ryan accused her of kidnapping Emma, and so she was facing life in prison and no Emma or Ryan ever. That might have sent her over the edge, but then when hasn't she been over the edge? Anyway, she wound up thinking that the Tornado Fundraiser was her wedding – that she and Ryan were getting married. As if Ryan would ever marry her again after remembering that he's always been in love with me!"

"It was all my fault," Ryan said, taking full responsibility for Annie's latest descent into madness.

"No, it wasn't!" Greenlee cried out. "You shouldn't blame yourself, Ryan!"

"Sure he should," Kendall thought. "He'd blame me in a heartbeat if he knew I was out of my coma. He'd say I pushed him and Greenlee together and that's what drove Crazy Annie crazier. Because he thinks I'm still in a coma, he has nobody to blame but himself, since he'd never ever blame that Smurf he's decided is the Love of His Life. No matter. I'll make Annie look like Mother Theresa before I'm done! Where's Zach? I need to make him pay for the Betrayal of the Century! He's the first one on my list. Next comes Binx. Then Erica. Then -- where the hell is he? Shouldn't he be holding my hand, begging me to wake the hell up?"

"Zach would be here, Kendall," Greenlee assured her, as if reading her mind. "But his nights have been so crazy lately. I guess he's involved with rebuilding his casino. We never see him anymore."

Kendall nearly sat bolt upright, but caught herself in time. The questions pounded in her still bandaged head. "Why isn't the bastard here? What the hell is he doing?"

--------------------------

"Stop wasting time wrestling with your conscience, Zach," Fantasy Reese was advising Kendall's husband at that moment. "When it comes to me, you know you always lose!"

Zach had to admit that was true. "This must never happen again," he had vowed to himself after that first unforgettable night of imaginary sex. But it had happened again. Again and again, night after night, he found himself conjuring up Fantasy Reese and engaging with her in sexual escapades that would have made David Hayward blush. He was, of course, disgusted with himself. He could barely bring himself to look at Real Reese, which was a real problem since he had hired her as architect on the Casino Reconstruction Project. He was petrified that she would guess – what would she guess? Did his imaginary love affair with her mean that he was somehow attracted to her? That was impossible, he knew. What kind of man would that make him? His wife was breathing through a tube, and he falls for the first unattainable woman who crosses his path? Was it because she reminded him of Kendall? How? She certainly didn't look anything like his wife, except that she was slender and lithe and maddeningly elusive. Was that the attraction?

"It's because I'm so cool," Fantasy Reese whispered now in a tone so provocative that Zach forgot all of his best intentions yet again.

"You're not cool," he moaned, rolling on top of his pillow, which was approximately where Reese would have been if she were really there. "You're --"

"HOT!" his fantasy screamed, abandoning herself to him once again. And again. And again.

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_Uh-oh. Will Zach's new-found hobby interfere with his devotion to Kendall? Will Kendall go through with her plans to kill off everybody she knows? Will the brilliant staff at Pine Valley Hospital discover that she's no longer comatose? Can Zendall survive despite Kendall's mental health issues and Reese's hot coolness? Please return for our next exciting installment in which matters relating to Kendall's heart, both medical and romantic, will be central. (P.S. -- Reviews are read, re-read, answered and cherished!)_


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